Grieving COVID-19 Losses

COVID 19.

I bet you haven't heard that enough, right?  It seems like everyone's life just got catapulted into this void of unknown as soon as COVID 19 moved into town.  I mean EVERYONE and EVERYWHERE.  No one is exempt which means everyone has a story to tell.  Everyone has experienced loss to some degree.  Everyone one has had to adjust his or her expectations for what the future months were supposed to be.  Everyone has had to put aside their own dreams, desires, and sometimes goals to serve the greater good; health and safety for our world.

Hear me when I say, "It's okay to grieve."

There is a lot to grieve right now!  Our world (collectively) has flipped turned upside down and left us wondering, "What now?"

• Many of us have jumped on the train of positivity right away, making at home plans and goals, trying to keep ourselves feeling purposeful and staying hopeful this won't last long.  

• Many of us have experienced guilt in even thinking about being sad because there are others in worse conditions than us.

• Many of us sweep any feelings of despair away by painting nice God infused phrases over our feelings.  

I've experienced all these things.  So I assume, since we are all humans experiencing the same dynamics throughout the whole world, that you might have experienced similar things.

Personally, this pandemic has come at a time that I wouldn't have chosen. Go figure!  I have lived in Rwanda nearly 10 years and my husband and I had planned to move to the States at the end of May this year. Two weeks ago, we were still making lots of plans toward that move... then COVID 19 came to Rwanda.  Everything changed.  We had to cancel everything we had planned in ministry.  Being my last few months, I was anticipating many final events and going away parties to bring conclusion to a decade of my time here.  But a week ago, the lock down was put into place.  That's when it sank in.  This isn't going to end soon.  Several friends evacuated to their home countries.  We can't see my husband's family, who lives in the same city.  We can't have special time with friends.  We will leave without any real goodbyes.  Even when this does clear up, nothing will be as we had hoped it would be.  I wept... and wept... and wept some more.

And this is what I know about Jesus.  He wept with me.

He didn't tell me to stop crying and to trust him instead.  He didn't tell me that I shouldn't be sad because others are worse off than me.  He didn't tell me that sorrow has no place in my heart.

I know this because Jesus has great empathy and experienced a great amount of emotions when he walked this earth.  One example is that Jesus wept... when his friend Lazarus died.  And yet, he raised him from the dead a few moments later!  (John 11:33-44)  Jesus experienced grief and in the same breath he trusted in God the Father.  He did both at the same time.  And that means we can too.

And the best part for us is that as we grieve over any loss we've experienced in the past few weeks or months, we can be assured that Jesus understands our pain and has entered into it with us.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalm 34:18

God draws near to us in our pain.  It's not up to our performance through the pain to earn his approval.  He is committed to you because that's who He is! And He wants to listen to our hearts through this time of grave disappointments.  He wants us to draw near to Him in return.

"O LORD, how long will you forget me?  Forever?  
How long will you look the other way? 
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?"
Psalm 13:1-2

King David always prayed from the depths of his heart.  And sometimes it wasn't pretty!  But as he spilled out his feelings of despair, I sense the feeling of relief from being heard.  He ended this prayer with hope and trust in the Lord, demonstrating that he felt lots of emotions while trusting the Lord. 

"But I trust in your unfailing love.  I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
  I will sing to the LORD because he is good to me."
Psalm 13:5-6

So, my friends, as you think about what this world change means for you and your life, remember to allow yourself to grieve.  Remember Jesus has entered into the pain with you.  And you can trust God alongside grieving what you've lost.