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June 14, 2010

Preparing to say goodbye to things I "need"

As the weeks go by and the day gets closer and closer for me to actually get on a plane to leave Bloomington... to leave Indiana, I weirdly feel more peace about my decision. God is preparing my heart and is allowing my excitement to grow! I know that God is going to rock my world... in fact I ask him to do just that almost everyday. Seems like a funny prayer, but I guess what I mean by that is, I desire for God to shake me of all my old habits, my security blankets, and my doubts and to replace in me a new vision, a new mind, and a new heart all devoted to Him alone. I'm so used to things here like television, fast service, driving a car, cell phones, air conditioning, convenience, etc. that I will probably go through withdrawal when they are all purged from my life! My hope is that I will realize how much emphasis I put on these things I think I "need" and will see that these luxuries don't enhance my quality of life, rather they try to replace my need for God! Do you ever think about that? I am so accustomed the way things work over here that I think in order to function in society I need a car, a tv., a cell phone, an ipod, a computer, a you name it. When did I forget that these are luxuries and people function all over the world without them? Here's a secret. I've always sort of dreamed of living a simple life. I'm not talking about laying on the beach all day with someone waiting on me. That actually is the opposite of what I mean. I have always wanted to live in a small house with no technology attached, in a place where I could focus on the people instead of the distractions of this world. I have not, by any means, achieved this dream... partly because I, like most people in my generation, have grown up with technology and rely on it way too much. I hope to come a little closer to accomplishing this dream while I live in Rwanda.