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February 25, 2013

Repentance

I’ve always been a little leery of people who stand on the corner of a busy city street with a sign that says “REPENT… before it’s too late… or else… or go to Hell… etc…”  Yeah.  Those people.  It’s always felt too harsh, too impersonal, and too direct.  While I am not onboard with their ministry tactics, I don’t doubt that their intent is coming from a good place because repentance is something that God does desire from us.   

Recently, I have made the discovery that God desires repentance from everyone, even Christians.  It doesn’t have to be super formal or planned.  It just needs to be often.  I think that’s why the Catholic Church encourages people to go to confession on a regular basis.  We need to confess our sins/ be aware of our sins so that we may be reminded in our hearts where God stands in our lives.  I’ve been reading some old stories about the Kings of Israel during the Old Testament times and have been blown away by how God blesses the kings who come to a point of repenting of their sins.  It didn’t matter how evil they were and how many temples they destroyed or how many other gods they worshiped in place of Him.  All that mattered to God was if they came to a point where they would dethrone themselves to Him.  He was pleased by their hearts’ deep apologies and showered grace on them when this occurred.  Read 2 Chronicles 33:1-17 for an example of this.

So while I still get weird vibes from the REPENT signs, is it a good thing to remember?  Yes.  Is it offensive to put on billboards or signs in front of churches?  Yes.  But it’s only offensive because we all (no exceptions) want to sit on our own throne and play King over our lives.  “Repent” reminds us that we don’t belong there.  God does.

February 4, 2013

I’m not waiting anymore.

Often enough I feel like I am waiting.  Waiting for all the funds to come in.  Waiting for me to be back in Rwanda.  Waiting to know what next week will look like.  Waiting to see what life in Rwanda will be like in Part 2.  Waiting to see how God will make sense of this life as I know it.  Waiting for my future to unfold.  Waiting can get annoying.  I'm not saying that waiting is completely a negative thing.  It has its strong points like developing patience and trust and pushes me to be less rigid in planning my own life sequence. 
Sometimes I think I'm not really the one waiting.  God didn't place me here to wait.  He placed me here to live out this moment, this day as if it were my first and last.  These dreams I have are good dreams, but they aren't what life is about.  How often I mistake the things I want to do/am called to do for what gives my life meaning.  My life had meaning before I was even conceived.  My God created me to be, not to do.  To be his daughter, his friend, his masterpiece, his prized possession, his bride.  God is the one waiting… for me to stop trying to gain meaning in life by doing doing doing.  He is waiting for me to have peace knowing in my heart that I AM HIS. 
There is no point to waiting to be His because I already am.  He has claimed me.  When he decided to nail all my transgressions to the cross, he bought me with a high price.  Jesus died so I could live life to the full... right now, not when all my plans/dreams fall into place.