Crippled by Fear

I'm starting to realize how much fear really does control my life. Ok, so it's not like I ever thought I was particularly brave or anything, but I just didn't think I let fear be my god! I act upon fear more than I act upon the Spirit. Fear makes rash decisions like, "No, I shouldn't go out of my way to talk kinyarwanda to these people because I will sound stupid and I won't know what else to say if they ask me more questions". How much more love could I show to them if I tried harder to speak their language? Fear makes me do stupid things like ignore intimidating situations with disciplining students because I am too scared to confront them about it for fear they will be upset with me.   How much more love would I show them if I was firm in showing them where they’ve crossed the line so that they learn, in the long run, how to treat people and how to be responsible?  Fear also doesn’t allow me to experience the freedom of expressing my struggles to my brothers and sisters in Christ.  What if they won’t understand?  What if they never think of me the same?  What if? What if?? What if???    If I allowed myself to be more vulnerable with people who cared about me, wouldn’t I also be allowing God to change the ugly parts of me as well?

God says we should fear Him. I've struggled with this in the past because what kind of God wants us to be scared of Him? But I understand more fully that fearing God is the opposite of fearing what people think. It's generally one or the other. When I make a decision, is it to please God? or to please the people around me? If it's for the people around me, is it for my benefit? or for theirs?  To fear God is to fear his opinion and his power more than the opinion and power of the world around you.  In a lot of ways, the fear of God in a general sense has lessened significantly in churches over the centuries.  Now, God is seen primarily as our Father and Friend… which he certainly is.  But, He is also completely Holy and Sovereign and Just.  God’s wrath still exists even though, nowadays, we only like to talk about the rainbows and cotton candy version of God.  His grace did not come without a price.  His wrath fell on one person for all time.  Come on, you know who I’m referring to, right?  Ok, I will say it.  JESUS.  Before Jesus, remember all the times God wiped people out?  He brought on epidemics to people just like us, naive and ignorant of the consequences of our rash decisions based in fear.  It’s the same God, he hasn’t changed.  So why do I/we place our concerns on what people think of us and how we are perceived when God’s opinion and knowledge is what really counts?   I am mulling or that question this week.  If I am living for God, I should strive to be lead by the Spirit of God rather than by fear that cripples me.  

God says, “Be strong and courageous!” He says that because He knows the impact fear has on us.  He isn’t oblivious to the things that influence us in our decisions.  That is why he emphasizes, “Be strong and very courageous!  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9