Training vs. Doing

I've experienced going through training for several things in my life.  I've trained to be a cheerleader through 10+ years of gymnastics classes.  I've trained to drive a vehicle through those awkward driver's training classes back in the day.  I've trained to survive in college through 12 years of schooling.  I've trained to be a YoungLife leader through a semester long course called New Leader Training.  I've trained to be an art teacher through 4 years of classes that tested me, challenged me, and built me up. 

In all of these things, I can't say I've ever truly felt prepared to jump into the real deal after the training was complete.  However, diving in head first into each new chapter of life is when the real adventure began.  I'm more of a "put the tip of my toe in the water to feel it out" kind of person... but I realize there are times when I will have to get in the water, so why not trust in the God who made the water and jump!?  It's better than the alternative... wondering and anxiously awaiting the opportunity to prove my abilities (gained from my training) to myself and to others.  Which is what I've been doing the past year! 

I have spent this last year wondering if I was even cut out to be a teacher.  I love kids so much and know that teaching is a great way to be present in their lives as a vessel for Christ.  A lot of the time, I just want to have fun with them and be their friend... rather than being the one to discipline them; although I am seeing this in quite a different light now that I am entering into the teacher world.  I realize that these kids need more than a friend.  They need adults who care enough to encourage them toward a life free from the burdens so many teenagers have from the sin they fall into because of their misunderstanding of what they are worth in God's eyes. 

I had some humongous doubts about teaching K-12 when I first signed up for this mission.  One, I couldn't get a job in Indiana because of my lack of experience (and the economy, of course), so I inadvertantly got the impression that I have too little experience to be trusted as a teacher!  Two, I have only had legit teaching experience at the high school level.  Elementary is still foreign to me, although I do enjoy it more than I thought I would!  Outside of my doubts, I am sure that beyond my abilities, God is using me and will use me to demonstrate the love of Jesus Christ to these kids.  At some point, I will stop operating out of fear of the "what ifs" in the classroom and will rely on God to give me the strength and wisdom to conduct each class.  I've already seen God move in the craziest class I have... it's still not perfect, but the kids are learning!  At some point I will upload photos of student work so you can see the amazing artists I am dealing with :)