When my arms are short

One of my biggest struggles as a follower of Christ is trusting God to continue the good work he has entrusted me to do when my arms are too short to do it anymore.  Here’s the thing… my arms are only too short because God didn’t make them longer.  Ok, so I think my metaphor stopped making sense… or maybe it never did make sense to you! 

Being in Rwanda is great.  This is exactly where I’m supposed to be; God has made that clear.  But sometimes I wish I had the supernatural gift of being in 2 places at once!  Yeah, I know what you’re thinking.  Landon perfected that dream on the movie “A Walk to Remember” when he had Mandy Moore straddle the state line.  Genius.  Well, Landon, that’s not exactly what I meant.  I’ve been to the border of Rwanda and Uganda… but I haven’t been able to get to the border of Rwanda and Bloomington, IN.  That is a bit harder to come by.  For 5 years, my heart was in Bloomington; more specifically at Bloomington High School North.  Shout out to the Cougars!  I gained relationships at that school that have seriously enriched my life and have taught me a lot about God’s grace, love, and patience.  I have watched God work in the lives of so many high school kids at North, and through that, my perspective on life and ministry has been shaped.  Getting back to my main point.  I have a really hard time hearing about my btown friends’ struggles when I can’t do much more than pray for them when I’m so used to BEING there for them.  I can’t quite reach out to them with my short African bound arms like I want to.  Email, skype, facebook… you guys are wonderful and everything, but you don’t compare to spending some quality time with friends in the flesh.  I think about some of Paul’s letters and how he expressed his longing to be with the letter receivers.  I understand those feelings for the first time in my life.  Somehow, he was able to communicate his compassion and also speak truth to his friend in Christ through a letter.  Not even an email where you can use to express emotion!  I’ve asked God how I can continue ministry in Bloomington with the kids I’ve build relationships with and you know what he’s told me to do every time I’ve asked?  “Micki, PRAY.”  No email I send or skype chat I partake in will transform anyone’s life.  I accept that.  Even if I was as good of a writer as Paul, as far as speaking clearly and lovingly, my words could only pierce a heart, not change it.  Prayer is asking expectantly for God to barge in and place His arms where mine can’t reach.  This isn’t just about geography.  I’m just more aware of my helplessness being so far away, but I know that I’ve felt helpless even being in the same room as someone I care about whose struggles I can’t fix. 

I think God is teaching me a valuable lesson about trusting in Him especially when I can’t DO the hands on aspects of ministry… because let’s be serious; How on earth would I be able to balance ministry in Bloomington, IN and Kigali even if I could be in 2 places at once?!  It’s a good thing God doesn’t need to use me to accomplish His will.  I’m glad he uses me anyway!