Training vs. Doing

I've experienced going through training for several things in my life.  I've trained to be a cheerleader through 10+ years of gymnastics classes.  I've trained to drive a vehicle through those awkward driver's training classes back in the day.  I've trained to survive in college through 12 years of schooling.  I've trained to be a YoungLife leader through a semester long course called New Leader Training.  I've trained to be an art teacher through 4 years of classes that tested me, challenged me, and built me up. 

In all of these things, I can't say I've ever truly felt prepared to jump into the real deal after the training was complete.  However, diving in head first into each new chapter of life is when the real adventure began.  I'm more of a "put the tip of my toe in the water to feel it out" kind of person... but I realize there are times when I will have to get in the water, so why not trust in the God who made the water and jump!?  It's better than the alternative... wondering and anxiously awaiting the opportunity to prove my abilities (gained from my training) to myself and to others.  Which is what I've been doing the past year! 

I have spent this last year wondering if I was even cut out to be a teacher.  I love kids so much and know that teaching is a great way to be present in their lives as a vessel for Christ.  A lot of the time, I just want to have fun with them and be their friend... rather than being the one to discipline them; although I am seeing this in quite a different light now that I am entering into the teacher world.  I realize that these kids need more than a friend.  They need adults who care enough to encourage them toward a life free from the burdens so many teenagers have from the sin they fall into because of their misunderstanding of what they are worth in God's eyes. 

I had some humongous doubts about teaching K-12 when I first signed up for this mission.  One, I couldn't get a job in Indiana because of my lack of experience (and the economy, of course), so I inadvertantly got the impression that I have too little experience to be trusted as a teacher!  Two, I have only had legit teaching experience at the high school level.  Elementary is still foreign to me, although I do enjoy it more than I thought I would!  Outside of my doubts, I am sure that beyond my abilities, God is using me and will use me to demonstrate the love of Jesus Christ to these kids.  At some point, I will stop operating out of fear of the "what ifs" in the classroom and will rely on God to give me the strength and wisdom to conduct each class.  I've already seen God move in the craziest class I have... it's still not perfect, but the kids are learning!  At some point I will upload photos of student work so you can see the amazing artists I am dealing with :) 

Oh… to be a teacher in Rwanda

Let me first start off to say that this is a blessed experience.  As scary and uncertain as it was to make the decision to follow God to Rwanda, I can’t imagine a more defining route for my life.  I feel like I learn 10,000 new things a day; whether it be about the Rwandan culture, how to be a teacher, or the differences between American and British English.  (I have a roommate from England)  My support system is unreal here.  I’ve already made great friends with other teachers and am excited for those friendships to flourish over this next year.  I feel very taken care of and looked out for by many people who have been in Rwanda a while longer than I have. 

There are still things I’m not sure how to get used to!  Our lights don’t work in the upstairs of our house, in the bedrooms or main bathroom, so flashlights are the way to go.  It gets dark at 6pm year round so, seriously, flashlights are essential.  Power outages happen frequently at the school.  Students don’t even flinch when the lights turn off and on during class.  I find that amusing when I’m looking around, out in the halls, to see who is pulling this not so funny prank.  Internet is touch and go.  We have internet maybe 30% of the time at the school.  It’s always a victory when I see I can connect to the internet even though I know it will be short lived or insanely slow.  Understanding tons of different English accents has been quite the challenge.  I’m teaching about 140 students at this school.  There are 30 different countries represented in that bunch of students.  I never know what kind of accent I will have to try to decipher in each class.  It’s pretty spectacular.  Also, trying to pronounce some of their names has caused for a good laugh.  I will say it wrong over and over again and the student just takes the abuse because his name is so un-phonetic that probably every teacher butchers it.  I am learning to use cash again.  My debit card is useless unless I go to one of the two ATMs in Kigali.  Mental math is a common practice when trying to convert Rwandan Francs to US dollars to make sure I’m not paying too much for things. 

Along with learning how to live in Rwanda, I’ve also been learning how to be a teacher!  I have been coming up with my own curriculum for grades K-12, which now that I think about it, is an incredible opportunity to really be stretched as a teacher.  I’m currently trying to come up with a unit for every grade I teach, which is a pretty big-sized goal.  So, I don’t have a lot planned for next week yet.  Yesterday, students came up and asked me what we’d be doing in art next week.  My response was, “Sorry, I can’t tell you!”  But what I really meant was, “I have absolutely no idea!”  I’ve never had to do things on the fly like this.  It’s thrilling and stressful all at the same time to live day by day, not having a set plan for weeks ahead.  The students, on the other hand, are going to be really fun to work with.  People love art at this school! Yay :)  This is the first year for elective classes for secondary students and so many people wanted art!  Unfortunately, not all of them could have art, but it’s nice to be appreciated as an art teacher. 

Monkeys shouldn't be in cages in Africa!!!

    We went on another adventure to a lake about an hour outside of Kigali to have a staff meeting and to eat lunch together.  At this same location there was this monkey in a metal fenced cage.  He kept bouncing off the walls of the cage and he even jumped at a few of us when we were trying to take a picture.  It was quite humorous to watch and, I’ll be honest, his quick actions made me scream a few times.  Although I enjoyed the fact that this monkey was available for me to watch and even touch when I got up close, the fact that it was in a cage struck me funny.  I mean, we're in Africa aren't we?  This is its home- its natural habitat, and yet it's all locked up, away from the environment that makes it thrive. 

 

    We are in the same boat as this monkey.  No, we aren't in physical cages that restrict us from living the life we were made for.  However, our sins restrict us in the same way as that fence restricts the monkey.  Yes, yes, I know nobody wants a sermon preached to them about sin.  It's not fun to talk about, but it's what obstructs our vision of what life is supposed to look like, the way God intended.  This monkey (who I named Monte) bounced around that cage like a maniac, not because he was wanting to show off for the crowd (yes, I will interpret this animals intentions), but because jumping from tree to tree is what his body was made to do, but he can't really do that in this tiny cage, can he?  Sin limits us.  And I'm not just talking about those BIG sins like murder, theft, or adultery; although those are included.  Anything we do or don't do that can take life/joy from us or anybody we come into contact with is Sin.  When we allow sins to seep into our hearts, minds, actions, we are giving up on God's vision for our lives.  We are accepting the caged life as good enough.  We were made to live full lives in union with our Creator!  When we take God out of the equation, we live to please ourselves, and end up completely unsatisfied.  No promotion, no winning lottery ticket, no expensive possession, no loving family, no significant other can make us feel as valuable as God's love for us demonstrated by Jesus Christ.  As strange as it sounds, Monte the Monkey encouraged me to evaluate what sins were restricting me from living the life God intended for me to live.  Not necessarily to jump trees... but to love Him and serve Him as Lord of all creation.

A New Beginning

Today I’ve had a lot of time on my hands considering today is a National Holiday in Rwanda… otherwise known as Election Day. Westerners were instructed to stay in our homes for the day just for precaution of potential violence occurrences because of the political election influence.  Outside of all that, it’s been nice to spend a day in the house, sleep in, finish a novel, and start planning for the first day of school coming up on Tuesday, August 17th. 

So far, on this adventure, I haven’t spent a whole lot of time in my classroom preparing for the teaching part of this experience.  Rather, I have been getting to know the other new teachers and the environment that is produced in Rwanda!  I have been in my classroom long enough to take note of all the supplies available to me until the shipment of supplies arrives in the next two months, and to take pictures! 

It’s a decent sized space and before I arrived, there was not a teacher desk!  For the time being, I will be using two student desks put together to make my desk. 

The people I’ve met here have already made me certain that I will be encouraged and sustained by Christ through this community.  I was so nervous about jumping into a new community when I dearly loved and valued the fellowship I had in good ole Bloomington, IN.  God has reassured me that fellowship is not limited to a place or a time.  It is available in any body of believers whose ultimate goal is to grow in the Lord. 

One thing I have the desire to accomplish here that is fresh and new upon my arrival here is to learn Kinyarwanda, the language spoken by Rwandan locals.  Generally, learning language has been stressful and difficult for me in the past.  Then again, I never really saw purpose in the process until now.  The school has provided us with the opportunity to learn the language, which for that I am grateful!  We have already learned basic greetings, like “Thank You” and “How are you?” but practicing it by just spitting out the words to local people is quite scary to me!  What if I say it wrong and it means something completely different?  Could cause for some good laughs, I guess :) 

Upon Arrival

Let me share with you the condition of my heart this past week, while preparing to move to Rwanda.  The beginning of the week, I was at peace knowing this is where God was leading me.  Later on in the week, as packing and moving started to actually happen, I felt more anxious, nervous, and sad.  Anxious because of all I had to do before moving, nervous because of the huge change ahead of me, and sad because of all the people I was leaving behind.  It’s crazy all that I have taken for granted, whether it be having my family close by me, or  how talking on the phone so easily had connected me with so many friends who live in another state, or being a part of an amazingly close knit community built around ministry. 

The day before I left, I had a going away party in Bloomington, in which I am so glad I did!  So many people showed up, which meant so much to me.  This gave a lighthearted way to say goodbye and give my last hugs, for a while at least.  The next day (the day I left) was a lot more difficult.  Driving to the airport, I started realizing that I was actually leaving.  I mean, I’d been preparing for this, but it had never really settled in.  I had a nervous stomach, as if I was about to give a speech to hundreds of people, or step foot out on that cheerleading competition floor I had done years before.  When we arrived at the Indianapolis airport, my parents and I lugged my 4 pieces of luggage over to the checkout and then spent the next few minutes shuffling stuff in the bags to try to make each bag under 70lbs.  We did it!  It was quite the victory.  Saying goodbye to my parents was the toughest part.  After I departed from their hugs, I cried through the security checks, cried while sitting waiting for my plane, and cried all through the 1st and 2nd flights.  Let’s just say, I was emotional :)  I’d say majority of the time traveling (about 30 hrs) I was reflecting on what I was leaving behind.  But as soon as I stepped foot on Rwandan ground, I had peace.  Flash backs from when I was here the last time came rushing back and I felt joy in being back!  It was quite the transformation from what I was feeling hours before.  I was greeted by people that are affiliated with the school.  I am now staying with a missionary family who have 4 beautiful kids, 2 of which are adopted from Rwanda.  I will be moving to my own place shared by 2 other teachers in about a week. 

Sometimes I feel like I’ve walked into this experience blindly.  Even though I was given plenty of information and have even been in Rwanda once before, I still have no idea what I’ve really gotten myself into!  All I know is that God is good and He is with me.  Everything else is just details.