Who do you trust? Coupled with important prayer requests!

I was appointed to give a club talk this week for Wyld Life club and was stumped as to what to say and how to say it.  Originally I wanted to express how great the power of Jesus was and is.  I wanted kids to see that Jesus can do ANYTHING in our lives if we ask him to.  But then, something happened.  I was robbed. 
I live in a house with 5 other single women- each of which is living in Rwanda serving the Lord in one way or another.  Four of us went away for a long weekend, only to return to the reality that our guard stole from us and fled.  He not only took a large amount of our money and some pricey possessions, but he also stole our trust.  He robbed us of feeling secure in our home.  He robbed us of being able to trust people in the same way we trusted him.  He deeply hurt us.  He damaged the perception we have of Rwanda.  So much was changed in our world at the expense of this single betrayal. 

So recently, my mind and spirit have been tightly linked to this event.  Inspiration for a club talk about God's power seemed distant and forced.  However, I have been reminded that while people are capable of being trusted, we are all imperfect at it.  We trusted our guard for years because he proved to us he was trustworthy.  He never gave us a reason to doubt his integrity.  Temptation got a hold of him and the trust we had for him was shattered in just a moment of weakness.  People aren't perfectly trustworthy, but Jesus is.  Jesus never goes back on a promise and His love for us outweighs any "selfish ambition" that people fall into.  He would never betray us because he isn't out to get anything from us.  He humbled himself and was born as a human being in order to show us his character, his love, his forgiveness, and his absolute trustworthiness!  He isn't out to get anything from us because he needs nothing from us.  He is complete on his own!  Our response of loving him in return is a bonus and a reason for him to celebrate, but He doesn't rely on it.  His love has no strings attached.  He loves simply because that is who He is.  He is trustworthy simply because He has no ounce of evil in him and his love makes it impossible for Him to do anything that would hurt us. 

Who do you trust?  If you have a hard time trusting people, I understand.  I feel like a fool for trusting our guard like I did.  But when we trust God, we can't live in fear that people will constantly be on the verge of betraying us.  Trusting God is understanding that people will let us down, but He will help us back up when that happens.  Trusting God is seeing that God will redeem all types of betrayal so we can continue to trust that He is at work in our relationships with people.  God is still powerful and can still do anything.  Through this trial, I've just seen how "The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. Jesus' purpose is to give us a rich and satisfying life." (John 10:10)  And the importance of this command to "Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Luke 12:33-34)  

Please pray for my house (there are 6 of us) as we continue to search for our guard through the police.  Pray for peace in our house- a couple roommates are also feeling ill and we are all feeling uneasy and vulnerable.  Pray for our guard- that he may be found and that he would repent of this sin and come to know the grace of God.  Pray for us as we determine how to move on toward more heightened security and a system to put in place to keep this from happening again.  Pray for us as we also try to move forward with less resources and money (due to the theft) to live the way we've been living.  Pray that God would use this trial to strengthen our trust in Him!  Amen!

Home

First Safari: September 2010

Four years ago I arrived in this beautifully strange land with a thousand hills and a million possibilities.  Everything was new and scary but I was starting an adventure, just me and God.  There was no trace of my prior life here in Rwanda.  It was exhilarating to step that far out of my comfort zone.  Even whilst living here, my reality has changed over and over again when waves of people come and go I'm left behind trying to adapt to my new normal.  Comfort zone... what even is that anymore?  

Friends in Kigali: April 2011

Friends in Kigali: May 2013

Friends in Kigali: April 2014

I spent a month in the States this July and I was shocked by my own inability to adapt back to my prior life, my prior self, my prior understanding of home.  The question of "what is home?" kept circling my mind.  I always thought of it as my safe place where I am understood and can be at ease.  My physical residence has changed several times in my life, but home has always seemed sturdy until now.  It has nothing to do with anything or anybody but me.  I have changed.  I have become conflicted of where I fit best; in the place I grew up? or in the foreign place I have come to reside?  The thing is, neither of those places are really home to me.  I can't go back to not knowing the things I now know from living outside of my own culture.  I also can't pretend I really fit in to a place where I'm consistently stared at because I'm so "exotic".  In one sense, I'm stuck in this place of misunderstandings.  But on the other hand, I have been given a huge gift!  This dilemma makes me rely on God's promise to provide an everlasting home for me and to be evermore thankful that whilst I feel like a nomad on this planet, God placed a desire in me to be at home with Him.  He is the only place I could reside in which I would be completely known, understood, appreciated, loved, safe, and comforted.  Why search anywhere else to provide that for me?  It would be second rate!  

Friends in Kigali: July 2014

While I was in Indiana this July, my beloved uncle, Ron Seger, passed away and left us for this eternal home promised to him.  He was an incredible man of faith and I admired the way he did not waver when his illness steadily got worse.  He knew that this life on earth wasn't all there was.  Anxiety of dying didn't follow him because he sought after God to provide the security that his best days are ahead of him in a place that will fulfill his every need and ache in his heart for complete union with his loving and gracious Creator.  I thank God for Ron's life, legacy, and example of the inexplicable peace we can have when we abandon all fears of the unknown and trust in the LORD!  Home isn't a place, time, or even a group of people.  Home is forever in the presence of a loving God who calls you His.  

"For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. ² We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. ³ For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies.⁴ While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. ⁵ God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit. ⁶ So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. ⁷ For we live by believing and not by seeing. ⁸ Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. ⁹ So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. ¹⁰ For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body." 2 Corinthians 5:1-10

He is Strong

I have been quiet lately.  I usually try to keep this blog up to date each month at least, but I have fallen way behind.  The reason I have failed to speak up on here is mainly because I have been weary and discouraged in the past few months.  Who wants to hear about that?  I would much rather be so encouraged that I can't help but write about all the amazing things I'm discovering about God and seeing him work in me and in the kids and leaders I am pouring into!  I'd much rather share with you the miracles I experience and the revelations God has given me.  I'd much rather be seen as strong and faith-filled than broken and weak.   But alas, I am the latter.  While I'd much rather come to you all put together, instead I am going to proclaim my weaknesses to all of you. 

I have come to a point of emotional and mental exhaustion.  It is no mystery to me why I'm so tired and weak.  I confess that I have been reliant on my own power and wisdom to do so many things; things of Kingdom importance.  I have spent more time planning than praying, more time speaking than seeking, more time doing than being.  Just saying that makes me release a big "ughhh".  I experience frustration with myself for being so ignorant and prideful as to think I can do any of this without God!  Yet, I keep trying.  The Lord has been so patient and gracious with me.  He is gently instructing me and revealing what this really means, "When I am weak, then I am strong."  I've come to realize my limitations.  I have many.  I have filled my life with a bunch of stuff.  Stuff that seemed imperative and good and noble, but when there's so much of it, it loses its significance and becomes just stuff.  Have you ever had that happen in your life?  It isn't the stuff that makes me tired.  It's the fact that the stuff tries to take priority over my time with the Source of Life who would give me the strength, courage, and vision to approach the stuff!  ...The word stuff has strangely lost its meaning now that I've overused it.  Which is exactly how it happens!

I want to eliminate the meaningless "stuff" from my life and focus on my Strong God who brings meaning to all the stuff in my life.  While I certainly can't do all the stuff I want to be able to do, my God can!  I'm learning every day what it means to rely on the Lord by each second.  He is holding me up.  He is lightening my burden.  He is taking on all the stuff.  He is filling me with His joy and peace.  He is my stronghold.  He is all things good and true.  And I am His.  

Freedom

Sometimes I can't figure out what to write in a blog post because I have no inspiration.  Today, I am  struggling to discern which of the many thoughts going through my head are the most worthy to post about.  I've had an epic end to 2013 and also a pretty noteworthy beginning to 2014.  Notice it's already the end of February and I'm still talking about the new year.  I've been kind of stuck in this transitional time.  I miss normalcy and routine, but at the same time, I think my notion of normal has gone out the window since moving my life to Rwanda.

As soon as I arrived back in Rwanda from spending a month in the States, I felt this tremendous pressure.  Pressure to accomplish.  Pressure to jump right back on the horse.  Pressure to get the ball rolling.  Pressure to get over my own personal issues.  Pressure to be somebody who can tackle a task way bigger than me.  Pressure is my worst enemy.  This type of pressure is built on pride which is the absence of trust in God.  When I'm experiencing this pressure, I am experiencing a world where God isn't active.  A world that is based on a lie.

I've been praying for freedom from the weight of this pressure.  It isn't mine to bear.  God reminded me this week that He doesn't ask for me to accomplish anything on my own.  All he asks is for me to love Him through obedience.  Now, some might see that statement and think that God is a dictator of sorts who only wants us to obey His law.  I used to see it that way, but the more I've gotten to know God, the more I understand that there is so much FREEDOM in obeying God without the responsibility of being God!  Because of this, I can move forward each day, knowing that through obeying Him, GOD will accomplish more than I can imagine.  God has never gotten off the horse.  God's ball has never stopped rolling.  God's only issue is with Sin, not with me, and guess what?  He's already conquered that issue.  God gives us freedom to trust Him with all the worries of the world because He cares for us.

Young Life Africa is praying for freedom this year; the type of freedom that Christ died for.  I don't think freedom is spoken of often enough.  And when it is, it can be misconstrued into a worldly type of freedom.  A freedom to sin and live however you want.  This prayer for freedom in Christ is coming alive in the form of a Freedom Walk happening this July!  Click on that link to see what it's about and how you can be praying for freedom where you live as well as in Africa.  Spread the word that God offers the truest form of freedom!