I’ve been on a journey reading my way through the Old Testament for almost 2 years now. I’m not nearly finished; partially because I switch in some New Testament reading some days and partially because sometimes I get stuck on one chapter and I can’t seem to move past it. Well, this is one of those times I’m stuck. I can’t move past Nehemiah 9. It’s like light to a moth… I can’t help it; it’s so beautiful! <--quote taken from A Bug’s Life
The whole chapter is a prayer. Not a prayer like I’ve ever prayed. A prayer that gives a history lesson of what God has done to bring His people to the promise land and how their ancestors have sinned horribly against God even while He was so faithful in providing for them. (If you want a brief synopsis of the OT, just read Nehemiah 9.) I’m stuck here because this prayer is so raw and relatable. Some examples of their prayers are, “YOU warned them (their ancestors) to return to your Law, but they became proud and obstinate and disobeyed your commands… WE have sinned greatly, you gave us only what we deserved…” It doesn’t give much room for them to hide their flaws individually or as a group of people. They also point out to God things like, “YOU displayed miraculous signs and wonders against Pharaoh… YOU came down at Mount Sinai and spoke to them from heaven… YOU gave them bread from heaven when they were hungry…” While this prayer also speaks personally for me in the fact that God used this history to bring forth Jesus Christ, who miraculously came from this far-from-perfect group of people, I see even more depth to it than that.
The last paragraph in Nehemiah 9 sums up with, “So now today we are slaves in the land of plenty that You gave our ancestors for their enjoyment! We are slaves here in this good land. The lush produce of this land piles up in the hands of the kings whom you have set over us because of our sins. They have power over us and our livestock. We serve them at their pleasure, and we are in great misery.”
I just keep seeing the irony in that they were enslaved by the very thing that God meant for them to enjoy. But instead, it taunted them and was a constant reminder of how their sins and their ancestors’ sins got in the way of living out what God intended for them. This whole prayer is full of repentance, not blame. It would have been easy for them to blame their ancestors for not being obedient; to blame God for seemingly not holding true to all of His promises. Blaming is easy. But they didn’t blame anyone. They even took responsibility for their ancestors mistakes! What? They saw how their own sins got them in this predicament and recognized that their ancestors’ sins were no greater than their own. They saw that God was being just as well as merciful.
I also think about life and how God gives us all blessings of some sort. For me, he has blessed me with a wonderful family, sincere friendships, a clear purpose in life, stable health, etc. However, I am not immune to becoming a slave to any of these things. What God gives us to enjoy, can easily become a replacement for God’s place in our lives. We become slaves to the things we worship. If our lives are all about making and maintaining friends, then friends become our Lord. If our lives are all about finding and achieving purpose for our lives, then our quest soon becomes what we worship. While none of these things are inherently bad, they have the potential to take over the throne of Jesus Christ in our hearts. Whenever this happens on whatever scale, we are miserable human beings. Why? Because we were made to worship only one God. When we worship and serve His creation instead of Him, we end up feeling unfulfilled and incomplete. Deep down we all know there is more to life than any of us can really experience while on this earth. I speak in “we” because this is where I am and hope that others can relate to my state. I want to live the fullness of life that God has for me, but like God’s people in Nehemiah, I recognize that my sins interfere with this far too often. Even other people’s sins can interrupt what God intended for me to enjoy, just like the ancestor’s sins made a mess for future generations being slaves in the land of plenty. While that’s true, nothing can interrupt or interfere with God’s love for us or His ultimate plan to redeem us through His Son Jesus Christ. Nothing. That is where my hope lies in the midst of this mess of sin. Where else could I find hope?
