I’m not waiting anymore.

Often enough I feel like I am waiting.  Waiting for all the funds to come in.  Waiting for me to be back in Rwanda.  Waiting to know what next week will look like.  Waiting to see what life in Rwanda will be like in Part 2.  Waiting to see how God will make sense of this life as I know it.  Waiting for my future to unfold.  Waiting can get annoying.  I'm not saying that waiting is completely a negative thing.  It has its strong points like developing patience and trust and pushes me to be less rigid in planning my own life sequence. 
Sometimes I think I'm not really the one waiting.  God didn't place me here to wait.  He placed me here to live out this moment, this day as if it were my first and last.  These dreams I have are good dreams, but they aren't what life is about.  How often I mistake the things I want to do/am called to do for what gives my life meaning.  My life had meaning before I was even conceived.  My God created me to be, not to do.  To be his daughter, his friend, his masterpiece, his prized possession, his bride.  God is the one waiting… for me to stop trying to gain meaning in life by doing doing doing.  He is waiting for me to have peace knowing in my heart that I AM HIS. 
There is no point to waiting to be His because I already am.  He has claimed me.  When he decided to nail all my transgressions to the cross, he bought me with a high price.  Jesus died so I could live life to the full... right now, not when all my plans/dreams fall into place.