“It is not possible”

… is a phrase used quite often in Rwanda.  Really, what it means is a simple, “No”.   To the average American, “It is not possible” means “You are out of your mind.  That will NEVER happen.  You live in lala land." etc etc etc… Say you are sitting at a restaurant in Kigali.  You ask the waiter, “May I please have a beef brochette (kebab) for my meal?”  He will either respond, “Yes” or sometimes with the occasional, “It is not possible.”  Now, I get confused about this because more often than not, I order off the menu given to me, so for him to declare that my order of a simple beef on a stick is not possible I can’t fight the laughter over how absurd it seems.  It took me a while to understand that phrase to translate as just “no” since that phrase evokes this nagging optimism that “YES, it is possible”.  It has to be possible!  I have come to realize that some things really aren’t possible here in this beautifully charming country, but for some reason, I am still hopeful and expectant for some these impossibles to become possibles. 

Examples?  Sure. 

1. It is not possible for my feet to stay clean for a day.  It really doesn’t matter what shoes I wear, my feet are brown by the end of the day.

2. For the last month, it has proven impossible for me to be able to shower everyday in my own house.  We have had a very helpful plumber in and out of our house and (cross your fingers) the problem was attempted to be completely fixed today!

3. It is not possible for my clothes to feel soft or smell fresh. You know that mildew smell that stays on your clothes if you leave them in the washer for too long…. forever the smell of my clothes here.

4. It is not possible to hate the weather or the scenery in Rwanda.  I have never met a person who has complained about it… ever.

5. It is not possible for me to sleep soundly in Africa without a mosquito net.  I went a couple weeks without one when I first got back and the only night I slept well was the night I took a Tylenol PM and could have slept 12 hours with that sedation.

6.   It is not possible  for a muzungu (white person) to get offered a reasonable price for anything bartered the first time around.  Sometimes not even the second time around.

7. It is not possible for me to continue naming off impossibles without saying that I love Rwanda even when things are not possible :)