Slaves in the land the Lord gave them

I’ve been on a journey reading my way through the Old Testament for almost 2 years now.  I’m not nearly finished; partially because I switch in some New Testament reading some days and partially because sometimes I get stuck on one chapter and I can’t seem to move past it.  Well, this is one of those times I’m stuck.  I can’t move past Nehemiah 9.  It’s like light to a moth… I can’t help it; it’s so beautiful!  <--quote taken from A Bug’s Life

The whole chapter is a prayer.  Not a prayer like I’ve ever prayed.  A prayer that gives a history lesson of what God has done to bring His people to the promise land and how their ancestors have sinned horribly against God even while He was so faithful in providing for them.  (If you want a brief synopsis of the OT, just read Nehemiah 9.)  I’m stuck here because this prayer is so raw and relatable.  Some examples of their prayers are, “YOU warned them (their ancestors) to return to your Law, but they became proud and obstinate and disobeyed your commands… WE have sinned greatly, you gave us only what we deserved…”  It doesn’t give much room for them to hide their flaws individually or as a group of people.  They also point out to God things like, “YOU displayed miraculous signs and wonders against Pharaoh…  YOU came down at Mount Sinai and spoke to them from heaven… YOU gave them bread from heaven when they were hungry…”  While this prayer also speaks personally for me in the fact that God used this history to bring forth Jesus Christ, who miraculously came from this far-from-perfect group of people, I see even more depth to it than that. 

The last paragraph in Nehemiah 9 sums up with, “So now today we are slaves in the land of plenty that You gave our ancestors for their enjoyment!  We are slaves here in this good land.  The lush produce of this land piles up in the hands of the kings whom you have set over us because of our sins.  They have power over us and our livestock.  We serve them at their pleasure, and we are in great misery.” 

I just keep seeing the irony in that they were enslaved by the very thing that God meant for them to enjoy.  But instead, it taunted them and was a constant reminder of how their sins and their ancestors’ sins got in the way of living out what God intended for them.   This whole prayer is full of repentance, not blame.  It would have been easy for them to blame their ancestors for not being obedient; to blame God for seemingly not holding true to all of His promises.  Blaming is easy.  But they didn’t blame anyone.  They even took responsibility for their ancestors mistakes!  What?  They saw how their own sins got them in this predicament and recognized that their ancestors’ sins were no greater than their own.  They saw that God was being just as well as merciful.

I also think about life and how God gives us all blessings of some sort.  For me, he has blessed me with a wonderful family, sincere friendships, a clear purpose in life, stable health, etc.  However, I am not immune to becoming a slave to any of these things.  What God gives us to enjoy, can easily become a replacement for God’s place in our lives.  We become slaves to the things we worship.  If our lives are all about making and maintaining friends, then friends become our Lord.  If our lives are all about finding and achieving purpose for our lives, then our quest soon becomes what we worship.  While none of these things are inherently bad, they have the potential to take over the throne of Jesus Christ in our hearts.  Whenever this happens on whatever scale, we are miserable human beings.  Why?  Because we were made to worship only one God.  When we worship and serve His creation instead of Him, we end up feeling unfulfilled and incomplete.  Deep down we all know there is more to life than any of us can really experience while on this earth.  I speak in “we” because this is where I am and hope that others can relate to my state.  I want to live the fullness of life that God has for me, but like God’s people in Nehemiah, I recognize that my sins interfere with this far too often.  Even other people’s sins can interrupt what God intended for me to enjoy, just like the ancestor’s sins made a mess for future generations being slaves in the land of plenty.  While that’s true, nothing can interrupt or interfere with God’s love for us or His ultimate plan to redeem us through His Son Jesus Christ.  Nothing.  That is where my hope lies in the midst of this mess of sin.  Where else could I find hope? 

Does God really care?

Two things I know: God is able and God is good.  Ironically these are two statements I see written on buses, signs of shops, and random mud houses in villages all over Rwanda.  Looks like most Rwandans know this too.  Even when knowing these two things, there is still so much I don’t know… or that I haven’t had tattooed on my heart yet. 

It’s one thing to know God’s character and power.  It’s another to know in your heart that God cares about you.  Today I was struck with the realization that I often reflect on the fact that God is in control and that He is in fact a good God, therefore He will make things work out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. (Rom 8:28) However, not often enough do I reflect on the fact that God accepts me for who I am.  But he doesn’t accept me for what I do or fail to do.  Nope.  He accepts me because of what Jesus did on my behalf.  Today, being reminded of that was such a relief!  The fact is, God cares!  He cares enough to go to the ends of the earth to make Himself available to me and to you.  If He is willing to let His only son die a gruesome death in order for us to know how deep His love is for us, then what other evidence do I need to be convinced that God cares about me?  When I remember that beyond my failures and triumphs, God sees me with the same unconditional love, I have freedom to live without fear, anxiety, or doubt of whether or not God is listening to my prayers. 

I’ve been reading this book called “The Ultimate Conversation” by Charles Stanley.  So far the biggest thing stressed in this book about prayer is that our view of God directly affects how we pray.  Why would I take the time to sit and talk with God if I didn’t believe in my heart that He truly cares about me?  I wouldn’t… I don’t feel comfortable sharing my heart with someone who is indifferent about my life.  Even if I believed that person to be a good person with lots of power, I still wouldn’t.  I need to know they care about me. 

For my prayer life to strengthen, my view of God’s love for me must get stronger.  It’s not about trying to be overly holy or proving to God that I trust Him.  It’s all about getting to know my Maker and my Savior and being changed by His love. 

RELAX

I’ve had a week of addressing legitimate concerns that directly affect me and Rwanda Young Life.  I spent all day yesterday on the phone with various people trying to find a solution to the problems at hand.  In my mind, I had good reason for freaking out.  I had all reasons to lose it completely, if I wanted to.  However, just about every African I talked to about my problem told me to relax.

RELAX?!  Seriously?  That’s your solution?  I was so annoyed by this reaction because I couldn’t see a way to “relax” when I felt I had to spring into action and conquer all.  I had to figure something out or else the consequences were going to be catastrophic to my being in Rwanda.  I had to review all my options so that I would know which direction was best.  I had to be in control.  I had to have control.  I had to. 

What if I didn’t? 

You know, I’ve realized something about myself.  While I profess faith, I have very little.  Living in Africa is difficult for many reasons, but is easy for one.  There are so many faith filled people who live here.  All those people who told me to relax weren’t saying it to frustrate me or to condemn me for not having faith.  They were telling me to relax because they loved me and wanted me to experience the faith they had in our very BIG God.  The faith that brings peace beyond our understanding.  The faith that proclaims God as sovereign over our whole life & the whole world.  The faith that responds with thanksgiving when facing trials.  The faith that moves mountains.  The faith that heals.  The faith that always wins because God is on our side. 

On my way home after taking a step of faith to inquire with immigration about getting a visa, I saw the word “RELAX” stamped on the back of a car.  My response: “I surrender… I will relax in Jesus Christ.  May His will be done.”